To write this title seems a blasphemy – why, Job lost everything and still knelt in adoration before God! To which I reply, yes: St Paul turned back towards Rome to face certain death, and in Maccabees 2, seven brothers and their mother were put through excruciating torture unto death with nothing but praises of God on their lips. But there’s a reason they’re in the Bible and the rest of us aren’t, disregarding historical dates: they were better, or stronger or however one might put it, than us. For the rest of us, when horrible things happen, from business losses to a cancer diagnosis to the death of a child, we either ask, “why me?,” or hunker down and curse God, or both. As my now-deceased friend Bill was fond of saying, “Life sucks and then you die.” We did not ask to be born, and we most certainly didn’t ask to be put through hell on earth. Why shouldn’t we resent God?
The title to this essay was borrowed from the book, Resenting God: Escape the Downward Spiral of Blame, by John Snyder, a minister who well knew suffering and futility, having lost his ability to focus his eyes just as he was beginning his PhD work in theology. In his book, Snyder comes to a critical point about half-way through when he tells us bluntly that life is not all about us. We are, rather, bit players in a drama that spans all time which will be fitted together perfectly in the end, all for the glory of God. But we are not merely cogs in a cold and impartial machine. Importantly, perfection is the key to God, and perfection is perfect beauty and perfect love. Therefore, our bit part plays into this perfection. If we wish to approach life in faith, then all the better, for we will realize our part in love and perfection. If not, we will still be fitted into this perfection, but we will not recognize it. In not recognizing it, life will seem meaningless, at best, and cruel and terrible at worst. In not recognizing that it is all about God and his plan, we will think that life sucks. And when bad things happen, as they will sooner or later, we will be resentful as hell.
As to God’s plan, Snyder invites us to review our life to see if we can identify times in which unexplainable things happened for our need or benefit, either at that time or for the future. If I might plug my second published book, Beneath the Turning Stars, that is precisely what my set of essays are about: the times in which ordinary life gave me miracles, or showed me its wondrous depth. When I began writing these essays for this website, I didn’t realize what was happening until several had been already written. In a kind of miracle of its own, I saw that some divine hand had shaped some of the more important aspects of my life. Even in defeat, I could see that those low times led to better times – not necessarily in terms of practical matters, but in terms of faith. And, gradually, it became apparent that faith is the most valuable asset any of us could have. It is to realize that one is part of the plan – a small part, but no matter, for God’s plan is far greater than any plan any mortal could concoct. To realize that one belongs in this plan is to realize something greater, in fact, than anything we could imagine.
Snyder sites a fascinating fact about the Golden Gate Bridge and the attempted suicides there. Quote: “…more than 1200 desperate people have jumped from San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge since it first opened in 1937… In detailed studies done on those who somehow managed to survive the four second, 220 foot droop to the Bay, the survivors tell strikingly similar stories. The common account is that immediately after the leap off the side of the bridge, something very strange and unexpected happens. Those who just a moment earlier couldn’t think of a single reason to live or who couldn’t imagine any possible way out of their plight, suddenly as if by some magic, realize a whole series of good and happy resolutions to their problems. But in their earlier, muddled misperceptions of reality and resentments of all kinds, all these answers had entirely escaped them. In the first few second of their free fall, they can see no way out. But then time seems to slow down and a high-speed tape begins to play in their minds. By the time they reach the last thirty feet above the cold water, they can clearly see a solution to every problem they face, except one – the fact that they just jumped off the Golden State Bridge. Those who lived to tell about it reported that their last thought before hitting the water was, “I wish I hadn’t done it!” Tragically, for the vast majority who made the leap, this final revelation would have come too late.
“We are here for reasons far exceeding our own.”
We must have faith, of course, but it is not always blind faith. Those people who jumped actually saw how they could fit perfectly into the world, making of their lives something whole and meaningful. Going over our past also grants us this view. And finally, simple common-sense thinking should tell us, if we are not too caught up in our own distorted vision of things, that a universe of beauty and natural laws does not just happen. There is then every reason to believe that we, too, fit into all of this in a beautiful and harmonious way by the will of something that is the very template of beauty and harmony.
I am not forgetting the horrible things that do happen to us, mostly by other people whose distortions are dark and harmful, but also by nature. As Snyder tells us, God’s time is not our time; things will most certainly work out, as God always makes perfect that which is chaotic or evil, but we may never see it in our short life span. There is one thing that I am certain of, however – that just as the people saw how the hopelessness of their lives could clear up perfectly just before they hit the water, so will we, or at least the vast majority of us, see the deep cohesion of our existence just before our end. This is what those with long experience at hospice say, and this is what those who have narrowly escaped death say. In this, they also confirm that life is unspeakably beautiful and meaningful, and that it is a privilege to live, even in difficult or painful circumstances.
This is why, from what I have learned, we can say that Faith is our most valuable asset. Unless we are blessed with a super-human or prophetic vision, we will not always understand the ultimate perfection of existence. Life, at times, will most certainly suck, but with faith, we will understand that it doesn’t, not really, not in the end. We might also be encouraged by the empirical evidence that we will understand all of this as the door to our own death opens.
In saying this, I hope I am not tempting fate, or faith, for I want nothing but happiness and joy all my life. But we cannot help but see reality about us, and, with a little more effort, the beginning of the truth behind the reality. Yes, life sucks at times, but not forever. The pain at the dentist ends with fixed teeth, and the appendectomy cures us. And sometimes, after it is all over, we get to have ice cream.
To write this title seems a blasphemy – why, Job lost everything and still knelt in adoration before God! To which I reply, yes: St Paul turned back towards Rome to face certain death, and in Maccabees 2, seven brothers and their mother were put through excruciating torture unto death with nothing but praises of God on their lips. But there’s a reason they’re in the Bible and the rest of us aren’t, disregarding historical dates: they were better, or stronger or however one might put it, than us. For the rest of us, when horrible things happen, from business losses to a cancer diagnosis to the death of a child, we either ask, “why me?,” or hunker down and curse God, or both. As my now-deceased friend Bill was fond of saying, “Life sucks and then you die.” We did not ask to be born, and we most certainly didn’t ask to be put through hell on earth. Why shouldn’t we resent God?
The title to this essay was borrowed from the book, Resenting God: Escape the Downward Spiral of Blame, by John Snyder, a minister who well knew suffering and futility, having lost his ability to focus his eyes just as he was beginning his PhD work in theology. In his book, Snyder comes to a critical point about half-way through when he tells us bluntly that life is not all about us. We are, rather, bit players in a drama that spans all time which will be fitted together perfectly in the end, all for the glory of God. But we are not merely cogs in a cold and impartial machine. Importantly, perfection is the key to God, and perfection is perfect beauty and perfect love. Therefore, our bit part plays into this perfection. If we wish to approach life in faith, then all the better, for we will realize our part in love and perfection. If not, we will still be fitted into this perfection, but we will not recognize it. In not recognizing it, life will seem meaningless, at best, and cruel and terrible at worst. In not recognizing that it is all about God and his plan, we will think that life sucks. And when bad things happen, as they will sooner or later, we will be resentful as hell.
As to God’s plan, Snyder invites us to review our life to see if we can identify times in which unexplainable things happened for our need or benefit, either at that time or for the future. If I might plug my second published book, Beneath the Turning Stars, that is precisely what my set of essays are about: the times in which ordinary life gave me miracles, or showed me its wondrous depth. When I began writing these essays for this website, I didn’t realize what was happening until several had been already written. In a kind of miracle of its own, I saw that some divine hand had shaped some of the more important aspects of my life. Even in defeat, I could see that those low times led to better times – not necessarily in terms of practical matters, but in terms of faith. And, gradually, it became apparent that faith is the most valuable asset any of us could have. It is to realize that one is part of the plan – a small part, but no matter, for God’s plan is far greater than any plan any mortal could concoct. To realize that one belongs in this plan is to realize something greater, in fact, than anything we could imagine.
Snyder sites a fascinating fact about the Golden Gate Bridge and the attempted suicides there. Quote: “…more than 1200 desperate people have jumped from San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge since it first opened in 1937… In detailed studies done on those who somehow managed to survive the four second, 220 foot droop to the Bay, the survivors tell strikingly similar stories. The common account is that immediately after the leap off the side of the bridge, something very strange and unexpected happens. Those who just a moment earlier couldn’t think of a single reason to live or who couldn’t imagine any possible way out of their plight, suddenly as if by some magic, realize a whole series of good and happy resolutions to their problems. But in their earlier, muddled misperceptions of reality and resentments of all kinds, all these answers had entirely escaped them. In the first few second of their free fall, they can see no way out. But then time seems to slow down and a high-speed tape begins to play in their minds. By the time they reach the last thirty feet above the cold water, they can clearly see a solution to every problem they face, except one – the fact that they just jumped off the Golden State Bridge. Those who lived to tell about it reported that their last thought before hitting the water was, “I wish I hadn’t done it!” Tragically, for the vast majority who made the leap, this final revelation would have come too late.
“We are here for reasons far exceeding our own.”
We must have faith, of course, but it is not always blind faith. Those people who jumped actually saw how they could fit perfectly into the world, making of their lives something whole and meaningful. Going over our past also grants us this view. And finally, simple common-sense thinking should tell us, if we are not too caught up in our own distorted vision of things, that a universe of beauty and natural laws does not just happen. There is then every reason to believe that we, too, fit into all of this in a beautiful and harmonious way by the will of something that is the very template of beauty and harmony.
I am not forgetting the horrible things that do happen to us, mostly by other people whose distortions are dark and harmful, but also by nature. As Snyder tells us, God’s time is not our time; things will most certainly work out, as God always makes perfect that which is chaotic or evil, but we may never see it in our short life span. There is one thing that I am certain of, however – that just as the people saw how the hopelessness of their lives could clear up perfectly just before they hit the water, so will we, or at least the vast majority of us, see the deep cohesion of our existence just before our end. This is what those with long experience at hospice say, and this is what those who have narrowly escaped death say. In this, they also confirm that life is unspeakably beautiful and meaningful, and that it is a privilege to live, even in difficult or painful circumstances.
This is why, from what I have learned, we can say that Faith is our most valuable asset. Unless we are blessed with a super-human or prophetic vision, we will not always understand the ultimate perfection of existence. Life, at times, will most certainly suck, but with faith, we will understand that it doesn’t, not really, not in the end. We might also be encouraged by the empirical evidence that we will understand all of this as the door to our own death opens.
In saying this, I hope I am not tempting fate, or faith, for I want nothing but happiness and joy all my life. But we cannot help but see reality about us, and, with a little more effort, the beginning of the truth behind the reality. Yes, life sucks at times, but not forever. The pain at the dentist ends with fixed teeth, and the appendectomy cures us. And sometimes, after it is all over, we get to have ice cream.
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