“I’m learning to fly/ but I don’t have wings./ Coming down/ is the hardest thing.” Tom Petty
I am taking a Bible study class on Mathew, and as part of the lessons, we listen to about an hour of a guy on video giving us minute details of nearly every word. It sounds dull, but it is not, as the connections with everything else we know bring a thrill of discovery. On the latest one, however, the video wouldn’t play. Rather, it got stuck at the beginning, where one is supposed to push the “play” button, but it took several minutes before someone could figure it out, and so we were subject to hearing the opening guitar piece play over and over. It didn’t take long for me to discover that it followed the tune “Learning to Fly” almost to a tee, which made me giddy with suppressed laughter. Here I was, all pious and earnest, listening to a song about heroin use. As with much humor, it was the incongruity of it that made it funny. That no one else seemed to take notice made it even funnier.
Then, I had to think again: why was it so incongruous? The picture in my mind summed it up: the contrast of a bunch of dirty, skinny addicts sharing needles in a flop house with a gaggle of old fogies brushed clean and properly attentive in a church. But do these physical aspects make us so different? Weren’t we, really, both trying to get to the same place?
Heaven. Tom Petty made at least one other song about heroin use, “Free Falling,” and it is clear that for him, heroin was about reaching a higher plane. We normally think of addicts as those who wish to escape reality, but, given our normal state of sobriety, isn’t the church- goer and meditator trying to do the same thing? Aren’t we all dissatisfied with normal life, attempted to find something better? Aren’t we all trying to reach the place that something deep inside tell us exists, that place that brings fullness and joy to life?
Way back in that time of hippies and war and protests and transcendental meditation, millions of us tried the same thing, except with the non-addictive mind-bending psychedelics, and many of us found heaven, or at least something close to it. Trouble is, it didn’t stick. Knowing what I know now, the presumption that we could reach a permanent plateau of enlightenment with drugs strikes me as the height of arrogance and ignorance. We thought that the mind only needed the veil to be pulled aside for us to go “ah-ha!” and there we would be, where Elijah and Moses stood, without all the hoopla. Trouble is, we need all the hoopla. Trouble is, we are so wedded to this mundane reality that we need to actually use all of our will, never mind grace, to give us a chance at escaping gravity. Learning to fly means learning WHY we are stuck where we are, and then working out that problem.
Yes, we need grace, too, that gift from God that allows us our final lift-off velocity, but the trouble with grace is that it IS a gift that cannot be forced. We can make ourselves ready, we can facilitate its arrival with spiritual practice, but we cannot force the hand of God. Or maybe we can – maybe this is what drugs are for. Maybe, after proper study and meditation and self-discipline, we can use one drug or another to replace grace. I hold this possibility open, although all drugs carry risks. Still, it is more theoretical than real, this possibility, because one thing is usually missing from the motivation of this type of seeker. Selflessness.
Does Tom Petty ever mention helping mankind by his shooting up? Does he think he is spreading the love when he is in a nod in his hotel room? In “Free Falling” he talks about being the bad boy, letting his good, God-fearing girlfriend down as he cruises the streets of LA looking for, and using, heroin. He slightly mocks her for her all-American personality, but he also recognizes his own selfishness, and how he is letting any chance at a good life go through his drug use – and hurting those who love him. He recognizes that the drug has taken all his attention, everyone else be damned. He is gentle about it – he does not want to hurt anyone. But it is out of his hands. By trying to get to heaven, he has taken a detour to even greater dependency on the things of this world. He has taken the proverbial wrong turn.
This may, indeed, be the greatest test of one’s path. While it is true that Jesus said to leave family, everything, aside to seek Him, what was meant – or so it seems to me – was that nothing should come between oneself and God, not family, not culture, not mammon, nothing. But in coming to God, we also are led to understand that in doing so, we are admitting our communion with all of humankind, on whom we should, we must, have compassion. It is the way of truth, for whatever reason, that enlightenment brings concern for other beings. That is not the way of drugs, or certainly is not after the initial euphoria.
And so, the contrast. There is more than one way to get to heaven, and winning the lottery through grace is one of them. But not through drugs, not on a daily-living basis. Real life-changing compassion is the key life-style effect of enlightenment, and sneaking around alleyways looking for a fix, after selling the family silverware to get the money, does not bring us there. Too bad, Tom – I understand your need. I want the easy way, too, but it won’t come except through the lottery of grace. Otherwise, we have to work at it. Just like everything else in this world, learning to fly takes a lot more than just wanting to. FK
I am taking a Bible study class on Mathew, and as part of the lessons, we listen to about an hour of a guy on video giving us minute details of nearly every word. It sounds dull, but it is not, as the connections with everything else we know bring a thrill of discovery. On the latest one, however, the video wouldn’t play. Rather, it got stuck at the beginning, where one is supposed to push the “play” button, but it took several minutes before someone could figure it out, and so we were subject to hearing the opening guitar piece play over and over. It didn’t take long for me to discover that it followed the tune “Learning to Fly” almost to a tee, which made me giddy with suppressed laughter. Here I was, all pious and earnest, listening to a song about heroin use. As with much humor, it was the incongruity of it that made it funny. That no one else seemed to take notice made it even funnier.
Then, I had to think again: why was it so incongruous? The picture in my mind summed it up: the contrast of a bunch of dirty, skinny addicts sharing needles in a flop house with a gaggle of old fogies brushed clean and properly attentive in a church. But do these physical aspects make us so different? Weren’t we, really, both trying to get to the same place?
Heaven. Tom Petty made at least one other song about heroin use, “Free Falling,” and it is clear that for him, heroin was about reaching a higher plane. We normally think of addicts as those who wish to escape reality, but, given our normal state of sobriety, isn’t the church- goer and meditator trying to do the same thing? Aren’t we all dissatisfied with normal life, attempted to find something better? Aren’t we all trying to reach the place that something deep inside tell us exists, that place that brings fullness and joy to life?
Way back in that time of hippies and war and protests and transcendental meditation, millions of us tried the same thing, except with the non-addictive mind-bending psychedelics, and many of us found heaven, or at least something close to it. Trouble is, it didn’t stick. Knowing what I know now, the presumption that we could reach a permanent plateau of enlightenment with drugs strikes me as the height of arrogance and ignorance. We thought that the mind only needed the veil to be pulled aside for us to go “ah-ha!” and there we would be, where Elijah and Moses stood, without all the hoopla. Trouble is, we need all the hoopla. Trouble is, we are so wedded to this mundane reality that we need to actually use all of our will, never mind grace, to give us a chance at escaping gravity. Learning to fly means learning WHY we are stuck where we are, and then working out that problem.
Yes, we need grace, too, that gift from God that allows us our final lift-off velocity, but the trouble with grace is that it IS a gift that cannot be forced. We can make ourselves ready, we can facilitate its arrival with spiritual practice, but we cannot force the hand of God. Or maybe we can – maybe this is what drugs are for. Maybe, after proper study and meditation and self-discipline, we can use one drug or another to replace grace. I hold this possibility open, although all drugs carry risks. Still, it is more theoretical than real, this possibility, because one thing is usually missing from the motivation of this type of seeker. Selflessness.
Does Tom Petty ever mention helping mankind by his shooting up? Does he think he is spreading the love when he is in a nod in his hotel room? In “Free Falling” he talks about being the bad boy, letting his good, God-fearing girlfriend down as he cruises the streets of LA looking for, and using, heroin. He slightly mocks her for her all-American personality, but he also recognizes his own selfishness, and how he is letting any chance at a good life go through his drug use – and hurting those who love him. He recognizes that the drug has taken all his attention, everyone else be damned. He is gentle about it – he does not want to hurt anyone. But it is out of his hands. By trying to get to heaven, he has taken a detour to even greater dependency on the things of this world. He has taken the proverbial wrong turn.
This may, indeed, be the greatest test of one’s path. While it is true that Jesus said to leave family, everything, aside to seek Him, what was meant – or so it seems to me – was that nothing should come between oneself and God, not family, not culture, not mammon, nothing. But in coming to God, we also are led to understand that in doing so, we are admitting our communion with all of humankind, on whom we should, we must, have compassion. It is the way of truth, for whatever reason, that enlightenment brings concern for other beings. That is not the way of drugs, or certainly is not after the initial euphoria.
And so, the contrast. There is more than one way to get to heaven, and winning the lottery through grace is one of them. But not through drugs, not on a daily-living basis. Real life-changing compassion is the key life-style effect of enlightenment, and sneaking around alleyways looking for a fix, after selling the family silverware to get the money, does not bring us there. Too bad, Tom – I understand your need. I want the easy way, too, but it won’t come except through the lottery of grace. Otherwise, we have to work at it. Just like everything else in this world, learning to fly takes a lot more than just wanting to. FK
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